coffee quotes funny

The vast majority, who believe in astrology and think that the planets have nothing better to do than form a code that will tell them whether tomorrow is a good day to close a business deal or not, become all the more excited and enthusiastic about the bilge when a group of astronomers denounces it. ~Isaac Asimov



Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband a month before she marries him and what she thinks of him a year afterward, and you will have the truth about him. ~H.L. Mencken, A Book of Burlesques, 1916



He is a poor patriot whose patriotism does not enable him to understand how all men everywhere feel about their altars and their hearthstones, their flag and their fatherland. ~Harry Emerson Fosdick



Do not quench your inspiration and your imagination; do not become the slave of your model. ~Vincent Van Gogh



The controls of life are structured as forms and nuclear arrangements, in a relation with the motions of the universe. ~Louis Pasteur



It was one of those March days when the sun shines hot and the wind blows cold: when it is summer in the light, and winter in the shade. ~Charles Dickens



Farmer: "You should have seen how he treated them when I wasn't around."



The real measure of your wealth is how much you'd be worth if you lost all your money. ~Author Unknown



As if you could kill time without injuring eternity. ~Henry David Thoreau, "Economy," Walden, 1854



He is one of those giant figures, of whom there are very few in history, who lose their nationality in death. ~David Lloyd George



Map out your future, but do it in pencil. ~Jon Bon Jovi, quoted in Reader's Digest, "Quotable Quotes," September 2002



There is no truth. There is only perception. ~Gustave Flaubert



Use of advanced messaging technology does not imply an endorsement of western industrial civilization. ~Anonymous email sig line



Genuine poetry can communicate before it is understood. ~T.S. Eliot, Dante, 1920



The more I see of man, the more I like dogs. ~Mme. de Stael



Have not I myself known five hundred living soldiers sabred into crows' meat for a piece of glazed cotton, which they call their flag; which had you sold it at any market-cross, would not have brought above three groschen? ~Thomas Carlyle, "Sartor Resartus"



If we would listen to our kids, we'd discover that they are largely self-explanatory. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com



One of the pleasures of reading old letters is the knowledge that they need no answer. ~Lord Byron



A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience. ~Doug Larson



The best and most efficient pharmacy is within your own system. ~Robert C. Peale