funny quotes about myself

There comes a morning in life when you wake up a new person; that is to say, you wake up the same person but you realize it's your own fault. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com



The fastest way to succeed is to look as if you're playing by other people's rules, while quietly playing by your own. ~Michael Korda



My favorite animal is steak. ~Fran Lebowitz



You don't have to suffer to be a poet. Adolescence is enough suffering for anyone. ~John Ciardi, Simmons Review, Fall 1962



Illness is the most heeded of doctors: to goodness and wisdom we only make promises; pain we obey. ~Marcel Proust



I have always been amazed at the way an ordinary observer lends so much more credence and attaches so much more importance to waking events than to those occurring in dreams.... Man... is above all the plaything of his memory. ~Andre Breton, "Manifesto of Surrealism," 1924



Dawn seemed to follow midnight with indecent haste. ~J.K. Rowling, "Magic is Might," Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, 2007



It was a blonde. A blonde to make a bishop kick a hole in a stained-glass window. ~Raymond Chandler



The minute a phrase becomes current, it becomes an apology for not thinking accurately to the end of the sentence. ~Oliver Wendell Holmes



Devotees of grammatical studies have not been distinguished for any very remarkable felicities of expression. ~Bronson Alcott



Common experience shows how much rarer is moral courage than physical bravery. A thousand men will march to the mouth of the cannon where one man will dare espouse an unpopular cause. ~Clarence Darrow, Resist Not Evil



I asked a Burmese why women, after centuries of following their men, now walk ahead. He said there were many unexploded land mines since the war. ~Robert Mueller



The ideal of calm exists in a sitting cat. ~Jules Reynard



The man who never alters his opinion is like standing water, and breeds reptiles of the mind. ~William Blake



As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it. ~Buddy Hackett



Have you ever observed a humming-bird moving about in an aerial dance among the flowers - a living prismatic gem.... it is a creature of such fairy-like loveliness as to mock all description. ~W.H. Hudson, Green Mansions



Take no revenge that you have not pondered beneath a starry sky, or on a canyon overlook, or to the lapping of waves and the mewing of a distant gull. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com



Anonymous Hick Redneck Founding Father: "Think of it: an entire nation founded on saying one thing and doing another."



None of us is as smart as all of us. ~Ken Blanchard



I divide all readers into two classes; those who read to remember and those who read to forget. ~William Lyon Phelps